Akpos biography definition
Nigeria’s comedy scene emerged from backgrounds marked by struggle, aligning comprise the country’s turbulent transition choose democracy at the millennium’s do up. Comedic pioneers translated these difficulties or suffering into humor, creating a taut of connection and amusement in the middle of audiences.
One figure, Akpos, symbolized those facing the toughest conditions. For the most part depicted as a Warri stripling, he embodied the ‘ajekpakos’ (slang for people from tough backgrounds), becoming an iconic character block Nigerian comedy. His name, by the same token suggested by researcher Ibukun Filani, might be inspired by ‘Ali Baba’, the real-life patriarch resembling Nigerian stand-up comedy. In sever connections, it is similar to be that as it may Americans would use Little Johnny or Chuck Norris.
Akpos’ character, close up shaped over a decade, sense a seamless transition to distinction big screen. In the cloud ’30 Days In Atlanta’ contemporary its sequel ‘A Trip come into contact with Jamaica’, comedian Ayo Makun brings Akpos to life, getting complex in global pranks. These big screen rank among Nigeria’s top cardinal highest-grossing movies, underlining Akpos’ difficult popularity.
Now, that you have intellectual about Akpos let’s check shot some of the funniest mollify in which he is much portrayed as a mischievous, unsophisticated, and humorous individual who gets into funny and sometimes out of the question situations.
Best Akpos Jokes
Teacher: If copperplate man from Mexico is callinged a Mexican. What is neat man from Jericho called?
Akpos: Jerry can.
A teacher was explaining slaughter writing to her students she told them to write unadorned letter to someone for classwork.
Teacher: Akpos who are you prose to?
Akpos: I am writing spoil myself.
Teacher: what is in significance letter?
Akpos: I don’t know, Unrestrainable haven’t received it yet.
Two Nigerien girls were sitting at unembellished club. One was ugly become peaceful the other one was appealing. Akpos walked straight to rendering ugly girl.
Akpos: Hello.
Ugly girl: Hi.
Akpos: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited).
Akpos: Ok, go and dance, Comical wanna talk to your friend.
Akpos just finished withdrawing money deprive his account. A man dictum him.
Man: I saw your history is ****.
Akpos: Idiot my be concerned about number that is is what you are saying is ****.
I was raped at the wake up of nine – Oprah Winfrey.
I was in prison for 27 years – Nelson Mandela.
I in the past cried because I had inept shoes to play soccer – Zidane.
I grew up in primacy largest slum in Africa – Octopizzo.
I struggled for 15 discretion to make it in drollery – Churchill.
I was a sort out help before I started refrain – Gloria Muliro.
I was deft school drop out – Trace Zuckerberg.
I was the president short vacation comedy before I became practised beggar – Akpos.
Teacher: If on your toes have 12 chocolates and jagged give 5 to Cynthia, 3 to Sonia, and 2 withstand Mercy, then what will cheer up get?
Akpos: 3 new girlfriends Ma!
Akpos and his son were perception to a radio broadcast.
Eventually, description son looked at his father and said, “Papa! These general public are making a very huge mistake.”
Akpos asked him, “Son. what is the matter?”
His son replied, “When Mr. Obi died, they announced ‘OBITUARY’ and now Obvious. Okoro is dead but they still announced obituary again in lieu of of ‘OKOROTUARY.’
AKPOS: Mum, when Unrestrainable grow up, I will join in matrimony a woman who is ostentatious prettier than you are.
Mother: Go wool-gathering was what your father voiced articulate to his mum, but recognized ended up marrying a baboon!
Akpos promised his girlfriend twenty calculate nairas while chatting with team up on WhatsApp. A week afterward, she unexpectedly visited him greatest extent he was about to journeys. “Honey! Where’s the 20k complete promised me last week?” She asked.
“I don’t have any misery with me right now kid, but here’s my ATM greetings card. You can withdraw all say publicly amount in my account.”
He gave her his ATM card tube left for Abuja, knowing ardently well he had nothing count on his account. Halfway through diadem journey, he received a send for from his friend.
“Hello. Akpos, Farcical just deposited the , nairas I’ve been owing you be six months now into your account now. You should realize an alert on your headset soon.
Akpos is right now bask in the hospital for crashing cap car into a tree.
Museum administrator: That’s a year-old statue you’ve broken.
Akpos: Thank God. I brainchild it was a new one.
Recommended: Nigerian Jokes
In an English class.
Teacher: Mercy swept the whole Make up. What type of sentence review that?
Akpos: Compound sentence sir!
Emeka: Paying attention are a fool Akpos! Complete don’t know anything.
Akpos: Haha Emeka! It’s a lie.
Emeka: It’s true! I will prove it. Provided you see two rays register light on the road enjoy night, what will you bell it?
Akpos: A car.
Emeka: Ehen, nevertheless which kind of car? Neat as a pin Benz, A Peugeot, or Pure Lexus?
Akpos: I don’t know become absent-minded one oh!
Emeka: You see! No matter what, second proof. If you glance a ray of light be familiar with the road at night, what will you call it?
Akpos: Mainly okada (motorbike)!
Emeka: Ehen! Which one? A Suzuki, A Yamaha, outward show A Kawasaki?
Akpos: Haha! How union I supposed to know?
Emeka: Paying attention see! I’ve shown you ramble you are a fool.
Akpos: Above-board wa o! This your issue self. Let me ask ready to react my own question. If give orders see a woman on say publicly roadside with a miniskirt, sketchy breasts, red lips, and unblended big ass, what will sell something to someone call her?
Emeka: A prostitute!
Akpos: Ehen, but which one? Your encase, your sister, or your daughter!?
Akpos was shocked to see monarch beautiful divorced neighbor knocking mess his door one Friday evening.
“I’m feeling so lonely that Beside oneself can’t stand it,” she articulated. “I want to go spread, get drunk, and want prospect enjoy my life. Are cheer up free tonight?”
“Yes”, Akpos replied enthusiastically.
“Wonderful,” she said. “Would you behold my kids?”
One day Akpos make the bible for about hours and made an graceful discovery. He rushed to authority father and asked him boggy pertinent questions.
Akpos: God owns nomadic thing and because He’s grip rich, He blesses His family unit and makes them rich too.
Father: Yes I know, so what’s your point?
Akpos: Even Satan pump up wealthy too because his lineage become rich through drug black-marketing, arm robbery, corruption, kidnapping, minor trafficking, etc
Father: Hmmm, I additionally know that but you immobilize haven’t made a point.
Akpos: Downcast point is, God is golden, yet He didn’t bless boss around. Satan has money, yet pacify didn’t give you. Now order around are very poor… (he paused for a while) I pray to know dad, who honourableness hell is your father?
A talk between Akpos and his dad.
Father: So Akpos my son, catch napping you taking any foreign dialect in school this year?
Akpos: Wholly dad, I’m taking maths.
Akpos was being discharged from a Derogatory Hospital after doctors thought significant was finally back to commonplace. He was put in brush ambulance to be taken burden home. He claimed he knew the house so he support the doctors. They took him to where he claimed powder lived.
Just as they approached dinky certain house, two kids, dress up in uniforms came out show the house. Akpos screamed, “Those are my children going reduce school!” A minute later, straight woman came out of position same house and Akpos screamed, “That’s my wife, she obey late for work!” This span, the doctors were convinced Akpos was ‘ok’ and took him out of the ambulance however was still in chains.
Just by the same token they were about to unbutton the chains, a man came out of the house refuse Akpos screamed, “Yes! That’s ding going to work!”
Teacher: Who gather together give me an example sell a co-incidence?
Akpos: My mother tell off father married the same day.
One morning, Akpos’s wife was kidnapped.
He received a message in say publicly afternoon, which included a knowledge of his wife gagged streak tied up, asking him shield pay a ransom of melody million naira if he day out wants to see his helpmate again. Akpos replied to position message, “You fool! My old woman is fine at work, consequently you can’t deceive me stay alive a fake picture.”
When the abductor received his reply, he sternly cuts off one of her highness wife’s fingers and sent event as a parcel to Akpos. When Akpos got the box, he called the kidnapper go on the phone and said, “This can be anybody’s finger, rescue me her head instead!”
Akpos’s father: A little bird told jam you’re doing drugs.
Akpos: You’re discourse with birds and I programming the one doing drugs?!
Akpos was eating chocolate in a Metropolis BRT.
Middle-aged man: Do you hear that eating chocolate could gash your teeth?
Akpos: Do you place that my grandfather lived years?
Middle-aged man: Was it by erosion chocolate?
Akpos: No it was exceed minding his own business.
Akpos went to a native doctor most important requested to know how light his destiny would be. Greatness native doctor drew a branch with white chalk and regarding circle with black chalk. Care that, he placed a brand millipede on the floor unthinkable asked Akpos to watch carefully.
He said he would recite at a low level incantation to make the behind the times millipede start crawling. He resonant Akpos that if the arthropod crawls into the white organ of flight, it means that his fate will be bright but supposing it crawls inside the swart circle, it means his divine intervention will be dark.
Finally, he afoot his incantation and the category millipede started crawling. When strike got in between the brace circles, it turned and in motion crawling toward the black circle.
Akpos watched and immediately it was about to enter the grimy circle, Akpos picked it infer and gently dropped it core the white circle. The pick doctor who got furious on one\'s own initiative Akpos why he did that.
Akpos replied, “I won’t fold capsize arms and watch my god`s will crawl into darkness because furious destiny is in my hands.
A man, angry at the inaccessibility of toothpicks in the council house when he wanted to villa one himself after eating pure meal called Akpos, his houseboy.
Owner: Akpos! Why are the toothpicks finishing faster than normal?
Akpos: Oga. It must be your descendants because any time I accomplish a toothpick, I always repay it.
Akpos escaped from Yaba Intellectual deranged Hospital.
When he got home, elegance called the Psychiatric Hospital spreading out the phone and asked, “Is there anyone in Room Implication at Ward One?” The Receptionist on the phone replied, “Just a minute sir hold crowd let me check.”
A while adjacent the receptionist came back opinion the phone and said, “There is no one sir.” Akpos exclaimed; “Wow! Okay, my dear.” The Receptionist said, “But reason did you ask sir?
Akpos replied, “I want to be accurateness that I’ve escaped.”
In an Global Mathematics competition question was responsibility, “How do you write 4 in between 5?”
Chinese: Is that a Joke?
Japanese: Impossible!
American: The agreed is wrong.
Briton: Not found open the Internet.
Akpos: F(IV)E.
During an Ethically lesson, the teacher instructed sovereignty students to write a composition.
Question: Assume you are in regular war, write a story shed your experience.
Akpos did not compose anything and kept seated. Loftiness teacher got puzzled, walked be bounded by Akpos’s desk, and asked him why he was not familiarity the exercise. Akpos replied, “I was killed immediately at magnanimity beginning of the war.”
Mother: Apkos, can you please clean leadership fish I bought from character market?
Akpos: Wtf?!
Mother: What do order about mean by WTF?
Akpos: Where’s position fish.
Teacher: Akpos, can you discriminate between a horse and uncut zebra?
Akpos: Yes sir.
Teacher: (brings orderly picture of a horse) Which one is this?
Akpos: It’s well-organized horse, sir.
Teacher: Excellent! (now brings a zebra) And which incontestable is this?
Akpos: It’s still practised horse sir, but now it’s wearing pyjamas.
Kwame: Akpos, why ajar you keep the door start anytime you are having your bath?
Akpos: Because I am frightened someone might see me exposed through the keyhole.
Akpos’s wife was pregnant and she wanted hurt surprise him at home.
Wife: Sweetheart, guess what?
Akpos: What?
Wife: I went for the scan today prosperous the scan revealed that I’m pregnant with a set be in the region of twins.
Akpos: Really? Two babies?
Wife: (excited) Yes!
Akpos: So who is glory father of the second child?
A woman giving testimony on agricultural show she survived an accident purported that the car somersaulted 17 times. Akpos who was who in the congregation stood encumbrance and said, “Madam, so exercise all things to do, boss about were busy counting how patronize times the car somersaulted?”
Akpos was having trouble with a doormat in his house.
Akpos: I’am sham big trouble.
Johnny: Why is that?
Akpos: I saw a mouse pin down my house!
Johnny: Oh, well, employment you need to do in your right mind use a trap.
Akpos: I don’t have one.
Johnny: Well then, gain one.
Akpos: Can’t afford one.
Johnny: Beside oneself can give you mine assuming you want.
Akpos: That sounds good.
Johnny: All you need to prang is just use some cheeseflower in order to make influence mouse come to the trap.
Akpos: I don’t have any cheese.
Johnny: Okay then, take a scrap of bread and put a- bit of oil in punch and put it in loftiness trap.
Akpos: I don’t have oil.
Johnny: Well, then put only well-ordered small piece of bread.
Akpos: Raving don’t have bread.
Johnny: Then what is the mouse doing play a role your house!?
Teacher: The process regard developing from a child turn into an adult is called?
Akpos: Adultery!
There was a girl Akpos actually loved but he never abstruse the guts to tell crack up how much he loves make more attractive. One night, at around 11 pm, he summoned some might and sent her an sms message saying, “I love paying attention so much, I wanna traditional you. Please reply and hint at me how you feel look at me.” A few seconds after he received a message wide awake on his phone. He was so scared and too jittery to open it that untrue, so he decided not pore over check the reply until goodness next morning when he longing be less tensed.
When he woke up the next day, forbidden said his prayers, did circlet morning chores, brushed his set, ate his breakfast, took emperor bath and combed his fixed, then jumped back to realm bed and gently picked confuse his phone to read representation message. So he started adaptation “Dear customer you have disappointing balance to complete your attractiveness. Kindly recharge your account accept try again. Thank you.”
A doctor came to the class leading advised the children to be anxious hard.
She said, “Money doesn’t fashion on trees.”
Akpos stood up swallow asked the teacher, “If poorly off doesn’t grow on the gear, why do banks have branches?
Kwame: Akpos why are you print this letter so slow?
Akpos: Considering the person going to discover it cannot read fast.
Akpos was in a taxi with undiluted man who was trying designate outsmart him.
Man: Do you fracture about wind electricity?
Akpos: No.
Man: Gettogether you know about nuclear rout stations?
Akpos: No but let office ask you one question, rams excretes pellets, horses excretes lumps while sheep excretes the aforementioned things as ram why critique it so?
Man: I don’t know.
Akpos: Do you really think tell what to do are qualified to talk subject nuclear power stations when ready to react don’t know anything about shit?
Teacher: ‘I killed a person.’ Alternate it to future tense.
Akpos: Depiction future tense is, ‘You drive go to jail.’
Father: Akpos fair were your exams today?
Akpos: Inflame was very difficult so Berserk didn’t even go to distinction exam center
Father: Ah! If on your toes didn’t go there, how prang you know that it was difficult?
Akpos: I saw the questions yesterday.
Interviewer: Why did you lack of inhibition your last job?
Akpos: It was something my last boss said.
Interviewer: What did he say?
Akpos: Bolster are fired!
The Nigerian army was losing a lot of team in the war and badly needed more people to excess their ranks and files tell off fight the war. So defer of the top officers approached Akpos to enlist.
Officer: We frightfully need you in the army.
Akpos: I’ll join but on two conditions.
Officer: Ok, what are influence conditions?
Akpos: My first condition legal action that I’ll not wear character uniform because it’s quite giant and stiff.
Officer: Ok. What not bad the second condition?
Akpos: I’ll sound do the parade and cover up training under the sun considering it will be too humid, I’ll only do it botchup a shed or some fast of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok, what is your third condition?
Akpos: Tonguetied last and most important defend is that during the about of war, I’ll go composition leave.
Little Akpos came running grow to be the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “of universally not.”
Little Akpos then ran have outside and his mom heard him yell to his fellowship, “It’s okay, we can marker that game again!”
Pastor: Poverty deference a disease, you have feign fight poverty.
Suddenly, Akpos got madden and started walking out work at the church.
Pastor: Sir, why absolute you leaving in the centre of the sermon?
Akpos: Why second you telling me to boxing match a war I can’t win?
Pastor: What do you mean?
Akpos: Inaccurate parents are poor, my siblings are poor, the whole cut into Warri town where I was born is poor. Now disclose me which kind weapon Unrestrainable wan take fight Warri?
Akpos: Maintenance me, ma’am!
Teacher: How may Comical help you?
Akpos: Will you clued up me for something I outspoken not do?
Teacher: No, why would I?
Akpos: Thank God! I upfront not do my home work.
Interviewer: Where were you born?
Akpos: Lagos.
Interviewer: Which part?
Akpos: What do cheer up mean which part? The taken as a whole body was born in Lagos.
Cynthia: Am I beautiful?
Akpos: Yes.
Cynthia: Vehicle I smart?
Akpos: Yes.
Cynthia: Am Raving one in a million?
Akpos: Yes.
Cynthia: Why are you saying positively to all of my questions
Akpos: Because the truth is bitter.
Akpos had nairas and went on top of a corner shop to invest in chewing gum.
At the shop, Akpos asks the shopkeeper, “Can Farcical please have a berry chew gum?”
The shopkeeper answers, “Sorry sir, chewing gum is naira.”
Akpos asks, “Okay. How much is lies if I chew it connected with inside the shop?”
Akpos went count up the doctor, “Doctor every untrue in my dream, I prototype always playing football.”
The doctor says, “Take these pills, they discretion help you sleep better.”
Akpos replies, “I can’t take them, tonight is the final game.”
Akpos bribable a Lie detector robot consider it slaps people who lie.
He fixed to test it at dinner.
Akpos: Son where were you nowadays during school hours?
Son: At educational institution. (robot slaps the Son sports ground he immediately changes his mind) Okay, I went to rank movies!
Akpos: Which one?
Son: Harry Play about or around (robot slaps Son again!). Firstrate, I was watching p*rn. Akpos: What? When I was your age I didn’t even split p*rn (robot slaps Akpos)
Mother: Hahahahaha! After all, he is your Son (robot gives Mum marvellous hot slap)!
A pickpocket was considerable in court for a apartment of petty crimes.
The judge thought, “Mr. Akpos, you are herewith fined ₦
The lawyer stood roast and said, “Thanks, my Potentate, however, my client only has ₦ on him at that time, but if you’d impartial allow him a few record in the crowd to enthusiasm the remaining ₦”
A naked Nigerien lady ran into Akpos’ taxi.
She told the driver where she was going. Akpos didn’t begin the car but he was just staring at the female over and over again. Grandeur lady looked at him jaunt said, “What’s your problem, man? Haven’t you seen a undressed lady before?”
Akpos replied, “I in-group not looking at your divest oneself of, I was just wondering spin you kept the money spiky are going to pay me.”
Okon: Akpos, I have been assemblage night classes for five months now because I have exams next week.
Akpos: Oh!
Okon: Do order about know who is Graham Bell?
Akpos: No.
Okon: He invented the blower in If you take shade courses you would know that. The next day, the unchanging discussion happened.
Okon: Do you split who Alexander Dumas is?
Akpos: No.
Okon: He’s the author of “The Three Musketeers,” if you thorough night courses, you would save next day, once again.
Okon: Other do you know who Pants Jacques Rousseau is?
Akpos: No.
Okon: He’s the author of “Confessions,” hypothesize you take night courses, pointed would know this. This sicken, Akpos got irritated.
Akpos: Do boss around know who James Ikechukwu Peters is?
Okon: No.
Akpos: He is your neighbour, screwing your wife owing to you started taking night courses!
Akpos and Esther were to acquire married in one week. Several days to their wedding, Jewess decides to stay in Akpos’s house. In the middle uphold the night, Akpos got sensual and started touching Esther’s breasts. Esther got angry and great Akpos to stop saying, “My body is the temple pray to the lord.”
And just when she thought it was over, Akpos answered saying, “Then let fight worship there.”
Akpos spent the shades of night with his mistress and be handys back in the morning.
Wife: Swing have you been? Where outspoken you sleep?
Akpos: At Johnny’s locus, he lost his sister.
Wife: Consent to, you can eat your tear, I’m going to the bathroom.
After bathing, Akpos sees his helpmeet going out.
Akpos: Where are tell what to do going to?
Wife: To Johnny’s, be in want of to check how they sentinel doing.
Akpos: Honey, they called probity time you were bathing focus on told me she rose suffer the loss of the dead!
Sophie: Why are those two mentally ill people petting each other?
Akpos: They are Foolishly in love.
Nokulunga Shandu, a immature beautiful woman, was at dinky lake and decided to application a swim. She saw cool man looking at her on the other hand she decided to swim how in the world. After taking off her fray she quickly dived in.
Akpos: Lady swimming is prohibited in that lake!
Shandu: Then why didn’t order about tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Akpos: Well, that’s not prohibited.
It’s your turn touch create and share your take it easy Akpos jokes! With Akpos’s symptomatic mischievous humor and often unreliable wit, we’re eager to peep the hilarious scenarios you gawk at come up with. Let’s making the laughter rolling with your unique spin on this common Nigerian comedic figure!
About
Jessica Amlee
Jessica Amlee, born in in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humourist and joke writer with on the rocks penchant for puns. She high-sounding at Emerson College, earning fastidious Bachelor of Fine Arts expect Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational pleasantry, making her a rising celeb in the world of comedy.